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Behind The I

by Andy Gibson

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1.
I’ve been a long way down I’ve been shipwrecked on the rocks of big ideas fallen into the sea I’ve been a long way down Holding my breath, or breathing through a straw of hope I couldn’t see But now I’m on the edge of change like the edge of a blade I’ve been a long way down and I’ve seen a lot of sides of me I’ve been a long way down I’ve been to places I never meant to see But now I’m on the edge of change like the edge of a blade And I’m holding my ground and I’m not gonna fall away
2.
Tangled 02:53
I thought I should let you know I've been walking the streets again Without any place to go All tangled up in my head And I thought that I'd come to the end of the struggle But I see that it may never end Please take my hand my friend I thought I could let this go Walk on and not return But maybe that is just not how life goes When the lesson is hard to learn And I thought that I'd come to the end of the struggle But I see that it may never end So walk with me my friend All tangled up in my head
3.
Lucid Moment 03:08
Look at me waving my arms Calling out the names of all the people that pass Doing all my magic tricks, destroy myself and heal the sick I sense danger in here Look Mum no hands! “Look son a car, best get off the road now” That’s alright I have other skills far beyond the run of the mill I sense danger in here Stand above me for just a moment and I’ll turn liquid In a lucid moment I’ll crawl back to my highchair Begging for my own forgiveness Everyone loves getting into a hot bath But I sense danger in here So if you see my eyes roll up, pull the plug and pick me up I feel faint now in here Stand above me for just a moment and I’ll turn liquid And in a lucid moment I’ll crawl back to my highchair Begging for my own forgiveness This is my confession I am faced with a decision Whenever I am in a position Where I’m standing too high If I’m standing too high Stand above me for just a moment and I’ll turn liquid And in a lucid moment I’ll crawl back to my highchair Begging for my own forgiveness
4.
Maybe art will save America From being polarised, polarized, polarised But open up your ears, your own music speaks against you Your being ostricised by your own Careful – a crack is spreading ‘Cause you do not act in love Righteousness with no humility No self-checking machinery Guns and the heavy shroud of T.V. Blanketing our minds, blanketing our eyes Keeping us so safe, keeping us so dry Underneath a blackening sky, that’s raining down with fire. Careful – a crack is spreading ‘Cause you do not act in love Righteousness with no humility No self-checking machinery Guns and the heavy shroud of T.V. Blanketing our minds, blanketing our eyes Keeping us so safe, keeping us so blind Underneath a blackening sky, that’s raining down with fire.
5.
Home 02:31
What have I done I havn’t sat still for 7 years What if I came back home Wouldn’t they know that I overcame all my fears Don’t I deserve a free ride now I am home I’m not afraid I’m not alone My heart doesn’t race I am here with all of these friends It’s just that they don’t know me yet Isn’t it good to find yourself in a desperate place You suddenly find you’ve got nothing to lose and no time to waste People seem closed until you look them in the eye And say “Hello, I’m lonely” I am home I’m not afraid I’m not alone My heart doesn’t race I am here with all of these friends It’s just that they don’t know me yet
6.
Remember when we thought this was all impossible We’d have to make the best of a bad situation So we did the best we could building houses with no wood Until it turned out that bricks of sand really aren’t that good And I’d go down to the corner store And buy $3 worth of happy thoughts But they’d never last long enough to please me And you’d go round to your friends house To buy me out of what I wasn’t proud of So I wouldn’t have to think about it But it turns out bricks of sand Crumble the moment they leave your hand I ignored my inner voice, thought I didn’t have a choice I’d have to make the best of the only valid option So I denied myself of light and wondered why it felt like such a fight And it never even crossed my mind that something wasn’t right And I’d go down to the corner store And buy $3 worth of happy thoughts But they’d never last long enough to please me And you’d go round to your friends house To buy me out of what I wasn’t proud of So I wouldn’t have to think about it But it turns out bricks of sand Crumble the moment they leave your hand
7.
Entrenchment 02:10
To get past the blockages You’re gonna have to keep moving You’re gonna have to keep massaging the creases Cuz every doubt pulls you down Entrenchment comes like a thief in the night And lies down next to you in your bed As every doubt pulls you down If you want to get on with this If you’re ever gonna move on You’re gonna have to believe
8.
Leaving his life behind him Resting the body that confined him Releasing his soul from the earth He’s proved his worth and lived a long time So now it is time for us to say goodbye Fighting with tragedy Angels won’t hear his plea They’re ripping his soul from the earth And all that he could have been will never be seen So now we’re obliged to say goodbye And it hurts for those who are left behind But I don’t really think that I mind Which one of the fateful kind I’ll be It doesn’t worry me Life is a fragile thing A work of art I’m a colour in And I want my strokes to show Whether they’re short or long is of no matter As long as they are strong when I have to go And it hurts for those who are left behind But I don’t really think that I mind Which one of the fateful kind I’ll be It doesn’t worry me
9.
Coastline 01:35
The coastline calls to her loved one He draws down close to her side He flickers into flame and brushes a cloud across her brow They call each other’s names, repeat the age old vow And I am man Holding them apart with all the strength that I have I am man I echo their art the best that I can And I sing praises to the coastline and the sunset And I sing praises to the maker and the made And I sing praises to the ocean and the moonlight And I sing praises to the maker and the made
10.
The shape of minutes dissolves When you’re waiting You start forgetting the goal When you’re waiting Details start to emerge from the cracks You focus your attention on the things you never looked at You start to hear the sounds that you didn’t know were there As they’re pulling you back to where you are Conscious breathing evolves When you’re waiting You start regaining control When you’re waiting Details start to emerge from the cracks You focus your attention on the things you never looked at You start to hear the sounds that you didn’t know were there As they’re pulling you back to where you are Where you are there’s nothing to plan and nothing to be done Where you are there’s nothing to remember and nothing to forget Where you are the world you live in opens up before your battered senses The metaphor slides away You see things as they always were as though they’re being born before your eyes And you glimpse outside

about

'Behind The I' blends melodic pop/rock with strands of electronica and folk. Lyrically, Andy’s songs tackle human issues, addressing both personal and global struggles.

‘Behind the I’ was released under Jody Lloyd’s She’ll Be Right Records. It was recorded between Andy’s home studio and The Lab Studios. Cousin Sam Gibson (Sound Engineer for Neil Finn, Dave Dobbyn) mixed the album in the UK and mastering was done by Chris Winchcombe at York St. Studios. Musicians featured on the album come from many corners of NZ’s music scene: Tui nominee Charmaine Ford on piano; Stephen Thomas (Spacifix) on drums; Dylan Storey on electric guitars, Sam Prebble on violin and harmonies by Reb Fountain.

The centre-piece of the album is Andy’s voice, with production moving between acoustic guitar, piano, bass and drums arrangements to electronic beats, strings and in places stripped back acapella.

credits

released June 1, 2007

Produced by Andy Gibson

All songs written by Andy Gibson except 'Art Will Save America', by Andy Gibson and Sam Kirk.

Recorded and edited by Andy Gibson on Logic, except the drums, which were recorded by Olly Harmer at The Lab Studios, Mt. Eden.

Mixed by Sam Gibson at Chapel Lane Studios, Hereford, UK

Mastered by Chris Winchcombe at York St. Studios, Auckland

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about

Andy Gibson London, UK

Andy Gibson seeks to make sense of the puzzle we find ourselves in, writing honest songs around themes of psychological (dys)function. Often hopeful, his songs are a documentation of the journey of a queer person seeking mental wellbeing.

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